Wednesday, April 2, 2008

obsession #48

The portion of my head that spans from my left ear, across the top of my head, and down to my right ear gets really cold...or perhaps I always wanted to be Daphne from Scooby Doo. Either way, I own a ridiculous number of headbands. I'm going to have to rethink this on many levels. The most important level is that at my age, I have NO business wearing a bow on my head. Do I think my head is a giant gift for the world to unwrap? I may as well take it a step further and just shave my head and affix a tiny pink lace ribbon to my bald noggin with a drop of Elmer's glue. Ya know, so folks know I'm a girl.

Maybe I should try to wear ALL of these at once. Soon, all the kids on the show "The Hills of One Tree Gossip Creek" will all be doing it.

I had to give this next headband its own solo presentation. I found it in a dollar store, and had no reason to buy it other than I just couldn't make any sense of it. It was worth a buck to attempt figuring it out or so that on the rare occasion that the world seems in balance and I feel a tickle of universal understanding, I could take this out and remember that life makes about as much sense as Jeff Conaway after a handfull of smackballs.

My Christian friends, please don't think I'm mocking your beliefs. I REALLY just want to know why WWJD is on a white satin headband and the purpose of displaying a catch-phrase of spirituality in one's hair. I should probably shut my mouth because now that I think about What Would Jesus DO?...he might just want to put a headband on that long, flowing hair of his. My apologies.


Tommy said...

So, you like nothing on your feet, but all kinds of stuff in your hair?

As for the WWJD headband, hey, it's a mystery to me. I always pictured Jesus with a Cubs baseball cap - the true patron saint of lost causes.

But never doubt the desire to mass market faith, from Jesus fish to "Zen and the Art of ______" books. Say what you will about our zealous Muslim brothers and sisters, but I've yet to see a "Muhammad Kneel 'n Pray Prayer Rug" or a "Follow Me to Mecca" bumpersticker.

Of course, I once had a Dalai Lama screensaver on my computer, so I can hardly cast stones.

I just hope Nirvana/Heaven don't have gift shops.

Susie said...

I always thought it meant "wide women just don't" !!!
Wild Women Jump Down.....

something like that. Guess I'll have to throw out all my WWJD stuff I wear to bars now... jeez, that's sad.

Tommy said...

I think it's one of these:

*We Want JalapeƱo Dip

*Why Won't Jim Die?
(a subtle knock at Jim Belushi, I think...)

*Wow, What Jerky Dicks!
(what most women are thinking when drunk guys comment on the seductive quality of their WWJD headbands)

stacey said...

those are some fine choices. i'll add

"Wholesome Wisconsin Journeys Drag".

and i would know.